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You’re Vegan, right?
Yes, that’s right, I am!
Can I ask you some questions, then?
Sure, Mann, of course you can!
Are you ready for the questions, then?
What are you waiting for?
Where do you get your protein, protein, protein
Only meat has protein so where do you get your protein
Actually lots of things have protein: Beans have protein
Greens have protein, fruits and nuts have protein, grains and seeds have protein
and here’s the thing that’s so obscene:
We don’t need so much protein
Most people eat more than they need
Where do you get your calcium? Only milk has calcium
Healthy bones from cow’s milk, calcium, I drink it, yum
Lots of plants have calcium, and lots and lots of calcium
And cholesterol, well they have none of the fat found in milk
What about our ancestors? Didn’t they eat meat?
If I wasn’t supposed to eat it, then why do I have these teeth?
Do your teeth look like a carnivores? All sharp and pointy, like?
No you gotta cook your meat over a roaring fire light!
Furthermore, all carnivores act on instinct
Humans make choices, they consider and they think
If humans of old ate meat
It was a choice not a necessity
If everyone were vegan, what about all the cows
and all the gajillion chickens living on farms now?
If everyone turned vegan it wouldn’t happen over night
and demand would just decline and so would the supply.
Isn’t vegan food just bland and gross?
No! It’s yummier than most!
You care about animals more, you do!
I care about animals, people too!
Aren’t vegan men weak and girly?
I find vegan men quite sexy!
B12, so there, haha!
B12’s from bacteria!
Where do you get your protein? Plants!
Where do you get calcium? Plants!
Where do you get your iron? Plants!
Where do you get your zinc? Plants!
I think I get it now.
Yeah, it’s all about plants.
Yep, that’s pretty much it.
OK, cool, glad we cleared it up!
Me too! Let’s have a snack!